I slipped into town for the weekend to spend time over Daniel’s grave. It just feels like something I need to do when I can. It allows me to check in on my mom, and this trip I had a friend who needed a friend. I was glad to be able to spend some time with her as well. I learned a valuable lesson today while I was out at Lakewood.
I had taken my walk and was standing over Daniel’s grave as a young man walked towards me. I backed up a little since I wasn’t wearing a mask and wasn’t sure if it was someone coming to visit Daniel. He turned and started searching for a headstone. He was close so I asked if I could help. Long story short he was looking for a friend who had just died in October. I offered to help but he indicated he would look himself and I wanted to respect his wishes. He searched and searched and searched and made a couple of phone calls while I was sitting on a bench near Daniel.
By the time I was ready to leave he was still looking. I walked over to him again and could see he was emotional…red, teary eyes. I asked him if he had called the office and he had and was now in the right area. I apologized to him for not saying, “sorry for your loss,” earlier. I told him my son had been killed 12 years ago and sometimes I forget to acknowledge the pain others are in. I asked him how old his friend was and he said, “44, well today is his birthday, so 45.” He was very understanding and I could feel his pain, for the loss of his friend. I told him again I was sorry and I hoped he would have a nice visit.
The VALUABLE LESSON; no matter how much pain we may be in, there is probably always going to be someone who is hurting more.
I should be an expert at spotting pain and verbalizing my sincere understanding but I still have a lot to learn. I was grateful to have spoken to this gentlemen and introduced to HIS 5 months new, pain and loss.
I will always travel the distance to be physically close to you my sweet boy. I am happy I felt compelled to come, to meet this gentlemen today and to be here for my friend who needed to chat.
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