why do we contradict?

why do we contradict?

Do we contradict one another just for disagreeing purposes? NO. We contradict because we don’t feel the same way as the person we are talking to. So we end up expressing that, not always in the kindest way. This is probably most common in a couples relationship, or child to parent or parent to child.

I suppose we feel most comfortable, or fed up with people we are closest to and that is why we are comfortable contradicting what they say. We tend to be a bit more “polite” or “correct” or kind with friends and people we don’t know as well as family. Although we may disagree with a friend or acquaintance, we will usually keep that to our self because the action won’t repeat itself as often as it will in a home or between family members.

Contradicting is as real as two people’s personalities are different. One always feels like he/she is correct and the other person feels the same way. Sometimes contradicting what someone else says is done out of habit, too quickly. Other times it is the SAME OL STUFF surfacing again and again. “You aren’t listening to me” “You don’t respect me” “I don’t need your advise, I’m just venting” “Why do you insist on making me feel badly?”

When we feel like we have tried to express our feelings again and again and are not being heard, we begin to ignore the behavior and bite our lip until it builds up enough that we bust…albeit sarcastic or mean hearted, we do it because we are tired of expressing the same thoughts or feelings over and over again and not being heard.

Do you agree with me? Or would you like to contradict me?

 

 

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morning thoughts

morning thoughts

What is the first thing you think about when you wake up?

For me (most mornings) I thank God that I woke up again. Then I figure out what day it is and what’s on the agenda for the day. I get super excited about coffee!

I love that there is no more rushing out of bed, flying to the gym, rushing home to hurry to work. Days are slower, my body can move when it’s ready. I enjoy 2 cups of morning coffee and usually figure out how I might reach out to my readers in an effective, fun, enticing, teaching, learning way. My goal is to say or do something today that might be motivational or helpful to others.

I’m thankful for all of you. Grateful for another day and another cup of coffee.

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an apple a day

an apple a day

You know the expression “an apple a day helps keep the Doctor away?” Recently I was watching a daytime show and I heard a Doctor say that we should all be eating 1 plant based meal per day. THAT made sense to me.

So for a couple of weeks now, I eat one completely plant based meal each day. It’s usually in the evening, so I feel quite unrestricted during the day. I usually eat more carbs and a bigger meal at breakfast and lunch and save the super healthy salad, or all veggies, or veggies and fruit for the evening. I know kale is good for us, it’s the new spinach but I don’t love the way it tastes alone, so I will sometimes buy a salad mix with kale and then cut it half and half with a lettuce of my choice. It makes 2 meals that way and the dressing in those kits is usually pretty tasty. (something a little different)

I’m not a juice or smoothie person. I like to chew my food, so this works well for me. I think it is an easy way to make certain one meal per day is green and HEALTHY!

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Besides…veggies make really pretty pictures! Are you eating one plant based meal per day?

up the stairs we go

up the stairs we go

You know how no one has a birth DAY anymore? it’s a birthday week or a birthday month. Well, no one has a master bedroom anymore either, now it’s a master suite. That is certainly true in our home. Since the downstairs is pretty much done (except for one project) it’s time to climb those stairs. Naturally I started with the master suite. The painting is almost DONE! Agreeable gray wins again. I tried a few different blues which I did not care for. Here are a couple photos of the almost finished project.

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We added the shelves on both sides of the window. I painted the standing mirror and the dresser white. I still need to finish the large mirror that sits on top of the dresser which explains that large empty space. I’ll be painting that in the next couple of days.

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Oh! and SURPRISE, I painted one wall pink! It’s kind of a nice way to break up a lot of gray.

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I can’t believe now a fresh coat of paint can really change a space. It’s an easy, inexpensive, quick way to give you a whole new look! So much fun!

Bye for now, until my next painting episode occurs!

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the dough bowl

the dough bowl

The dough bowl is a popular decorating item today, but do you know it’s history?

America’s pioneering women used this bowl for bread rising. The wood allows the bread to rise evenly and the high sides keep drafts away. Traditionally the dough bowl was passed down through a family, passing the memory of Mother and the wealth of experience that makes a kitchen the heart of a home. My daughter bought mine for me at a flee market she loves in Long Beach.

Now, if you don’t bake bread you may use your awesome antique for decorating purposes only. Mine sits on the coffee table and has been used several different ways. Currently with an antique milk glass vase (from my mom) holding a Christmas cactus. I am patiently waiting for it to bloom. It did bloom last year in almost summer I believe. Also a couple of old books (because books everywhere) and a candle. The sweet feature of my dough bowl is the tiny lady bug that fell off of something else and sits on the rim waiting for Tyler to come visit because he ALWAYS picks her up and chats with her.

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I love knowing the story and history of the antiques in my home.

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We have a new project on the horizon, sit tight for that, but here is a little hint.

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when fabulous surpasses frustration

when fabulous surpasses frustration

This morning I was frustrated! I was going to do a venting blog, you know, tell you how people don’t do their job anymore, and what happened to good service bla bla, whine whine. And then…

I got an amazing gift. A conversation with an individual I’ve not met who turned my day and my attitude around. People are SO GOOD and sometimes we just need a solid reminder to turn frustration to fabulous.

I was frustrated about my flooring needs. How dumb! I am truly struggling to find someone who will come and do this tiny area in laminate to finish my husbands beautiful work on the stairs.

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So I got home after my 900th trip to Lowe’s, being told yet again that someone will call me back…and I had a text conversation with Corey.

Corey is the gentlemen who sought me out nearly a year after watching my interview with the West Point History Department on the life of a Gold Star Mother and family. Corey and his friend Harold who have been friends since the first grade started a sports podcast together. Tonight they are recording their 11th episode and at the end of each recording they do a Hero Highlight. They choose people and organizations who make a significant difference in the world. Corey contacted me by face book messenger on Tuesday (2 days ago) to let me know they would like to highlight Daniel at the end of their #11 episode. Naturally I immediately said of course and yesterday Corey called to read me the piece, which made me cry. Now if you know me you know that doesn’t happen unless I am truly touched. After getting off the phone with Corey I sent out the word for all friends and family of Daniel to please give a listen to the podcast and the beautifully written tribute at the end.

Today Corey texted me to let me know that he and Harold are recording tonight and that they would do me proud. To which I replied, “I have no doubt”. As we texted back and forth, Corey’s comments about Daniel, (a man he never met and knows nothing about except what he has voluntarily heard and researched) again, brought me to tears. I told him he was 2 for 2…I don’t cry!!!!!

At any rate, fabulous people will always surpass frustrating people. And fabulous situations will always surpass frustrating ones. We need only to focus on the good, bring our thoughts back to center and the incessant good in others. To be committed to always look for the positive in every situation (no matter how bad it may seem) and re-invest every single day in good! Good people, good relationships, good jobs, good food, good wine, good times, good situations, good health, good children and the good in life.

This weekend if you would be so kind as to invest in these two young men, Corey and Harold, and enjoy episode # 11 of COLD TAKES SPORTS TALK which you can download free on iTunes. And then cry along with me as they pay tribute at the conclusion of the episode to a young man who somehow has touched both of them in a very meaningful way.

Thanks friends!

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My sofa arrived!

My sofa arrived!

I’ve been like a kid in a candy store or ME in See’s, for 8 weeks now, waiting. Yesterday the waiting was over, my sofa finally arrived. I was wondering if I would still love it as much as I did in the store. I do. It’s so simple, smaller, which was necessary and so firm I practically bounce back up when I sit down. Also, you know how when you purchase a sofa it comes with throw pillows that you usually don’t like? Well, this one did not. So I even got to choose my own throw pillows. I’m so happy my room is finally complete. I have one more project for the kitchen, but for the time being the living area is DONE!

I even had my visiting decorator (my daughter) here Sunday for a brief couple of hours and she spent some time re-styling the room. Here are a few pictures of the finished living room which includes new paint, new sofa, new chairs, new rug, new shelves above the television and lots of cozy new throw pillows! Oh, and a very old new step stool. Now if I could just get my stairs done. (A story for another day).

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This VINTAGE stool is from my husbands childhood. When we got it he asked if I wanted him to “clean it up” before he brought it in. I said absolutely not! I love every rust stained, chipped paint thing about it. On the second step is a candle called HYDE which Andrea gave us for Christmas a couple years ago. On the bottom step is sweet Nico’s broken board from his purple belt test that I was honored to hold for him. He broke it on the second try (with an elbow strike) and he has the other half!!!

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