Do you have dark days? A day or days that are more difficult to get through?
The days between my son’s birthday and his death day, January 25 – March 7 are tough. Not all of them and I don’t crawl in bed for 6 weeks or anything like that (though I’m not discrediting people who do). Everyone handles sadness differently and I say do what you need to do.
For me, it is difficult to think of much else besides him and during this time I have to really force myself out and to stay busy and keep my mind occupied. I’m learning to call someone if need be, and at times being alone is the best solution.
Having dark days is normal and we are all entitled. There is so much sadness in the world and although I do not recommend dwelling on any sad time, sometimes we need to sacom to the feelings and take time to be sad.
During my dark days I reflect on the sadness of others. That sounds horrible right? I mean that I talk to myself about all the people I know who grieve and miss people they love. It helps me stay grounded in the fact that I’m not alone. I have so many friends who have lost children and their hearts hurt no less than mine.
Kids, grandkids, siblings, spouses, cousins, aunts and uncles, parents, and grandparents…we miss them!
My husband, daughter and I are so incredibly grateful for every single person who has entered our life, since Daniel left. We realize that those relationships would have never developed without our mutual loss of Daniel. We count those relationships as blessings and gifts from Daniel.
A high school classmate of mine who has also experienced the loss of a son, told me that the “trigger” days, even though more difficult, are also the days they feel the presence of their son more. I thought that was deeply interesting and worth some thought. I appreciate his perspective for the difficult days.
As we age getting enough sleep can be difficult. I remember my mom talking about waking before 5 am and I used to think that was crazy! Enter the almost 60 year old child of that woman who routinely wakes before 5 am. I was getting to the point where I would go to bed at 10 pm (my normal time) and be wide awake at 4:40 am. Figuring it takes 30 minutes to fall asleep, I was only getting 6 hours, sometimes less.
When you read again and again that we need 8 hours of sleep, I would wonder how on earth I would ever sleep 8 hours again? Then came Lavender!
A couple months before Christmas I got in touch with an essential oils expert (mostly to see if I could find any help for our daughter with allergies). I wanted to surprise her for Christmas with some oils that might help. I thought I would educate myself on oils (I’ve been skeptical) and then give and instruct Andrea in the oil usage best for her. I learned from my experimenting that PURE oils can help with certain things.
I started using Lavender because I heard that it helps with sleep. I can honestly say Lavender is changing my sleep pattern for the better. I don’t even diffuse it (you can). I simply keep a bottle by my bedside and about 30 minutes before I head to bed I inhale it from the bottle. A long deep breath which smells divine! Then I inhale it again as I’m laying down.
I fall asleep faster, can go back to sleep (if I wake during the night) and sometimes sleep until 6 am. There have been times I’ve slept until 6:45 am. That is new and unusual. 7 hours of sleep is now attainable and sometimes I luck out with almost 8.
I haven’t changed anything else so it has to be the Lavender Essential Oil making the improvement in my sleep pattern. I feel more rested.
If you want to give Lavender a try I recommend you get a pure oil. I use Young Living and they are available online. There are others that sell quality oils, just be sure you buy an authentic oil. Sometimes when you buy them in the store or online they can be diluted or not a quality product. Seed to Seal is Young Living’s guarantee of quality. I visited the Young Living Lavender Farm in Mona, Utah in December when I went to Mapleton.
I am using other products from Young Living and will do a separate post soon. I like to keep my posts short enough to read quickly, so you’ll want to come back for more!
But the shampoo and conditioner!!!!!!!!!!
Are you tired of paying ridiculously high energy bills?
Did you know that if you live in California there is a mandate in effect that requires energy utility companies to have 50% of their energy production come from renewable resources?
Would you like to know if you /your home could qualify to save green by being green? I know a young man working in this industry and I guarantee your time with Devon would be well spent no matter the outcome. If he CAN offer you a way to save money, that would be a WIN-WIN for sure!
If you have any interest in hearing how Devon might be able to offer you a reduction in your monthly energy bills, you can reach him through text message at (209) 241-7424. I would love for Devon to have the opportunity to meet you!
…tell him Glenda referred you!
Did you know that Martin Luther King Jr. was born Michael and later had his name changed to Martin? Also that he was the youngest man to have received the Nobel Peace Prize, when he did at age 35? And that he died at 39?
Thank you Martin Luther King Jr. for brave, strong leadership and your tireless faith and work to change us and make us better!
While celebrating Mr. King’s birthday I walked at the park today. I was so thrilled to see dads at the park playing and hanging out with their kids! What glorious progress in society that the roles in parenting and working can be whatever works best in each household. With so many women working in top professions, some dads choose to take the at home role, or the part time role. I love that we are becoming more accepting of the changes in roles for parenting.
Happy Birthday Mr. King!
And great job Dad’s with your kids!
We all need to do our part in taking care of our changing planet. Are you green enough? Could you make a few small changes to help with the big picture? The big picture is our beautiful planet and the well-being of all who dwell on it presently and will in the future. The extra steps we take now could brighten the future for our children and grandchildren, and all the young people we love. I need to be more green!
I just walked around my house and shut off 3 lights I wasn’t using. It takes effort to be so conscious of it but we need to remember that every SINGLE small change we make could help in the future. Any good habit we decide to form takes a few days of remembering, in succession.
Do me a favor and walk around your house right now to see if you can shut off some lights and then try to implement that into your daily life! Use the “off” switch as often as possible. Together we can make small changes for BIG results!
More green blogs to follow…thank you for doing your part!
MORE GREEN in 2018!
Good morning and Happy Friday. I just completed a workout that was quite a challenge and wanted to share it and offer the challenge to the young and old. Your butt and legs will thank you, well in 4-5 days that is, after they are done being mad as heck at you! Burning is good, right?
I thought of this workout last night in bed and while the LENGTH of the field at the park sounded good as I lay comfortably in my bed I ended up doing the width of the field instead. A difference of approximately 36 yards opposed to approximately 150 yards.
I walked to and from the park approximately 1.5 miles. While at the park I did 44 front kicks (22 alternating), walked a bit, 44 front lunges (22 each leg), walked a bit and 50 mountain climbers (25 each foot, alternating), walked a bit and repeated the whole set. So 2 sets of the 3 exercises with a 1.5 mile walk. CHALLENGE EXTENDED
Oh, if you don’t want to leave the house, that’s ok, just walk every time you are on your phone today and do the 3 exercises (twice) in your living room. You can do the kicks, lunges, and mountain climbers in place-No excuses.
And to all you super athletes, this will be a great warm up to your 1.5 hour workout!
Love to all, stay healthy!
Most parents say they love their children equally but sometimes children don’t feel loved equally. I was reminded of this while watching “This Is Us” recently. The grown children (who have issues) on this show were expressing their thoughts about their childhood and finally the mom cracked and said it wasn’t that she loved Randall MORE, he was just EASIER!
I can relate! Can you?
Astounding as it is that children who come from the same parents can be so different, they are, and raising them can be a challenge. Naturally we are going to adore “the easy one”. We are human after all. When our frustration comes out more often to the less easy child they may feel less loved. We certainly don’t intend that as caring parents but it happens.
I ALWAYS felt like my parents favored my older sister. She was the firstborn: shy and driven, studious, quiet, mindful of responsibility, smart, talented, the only one to go to 4 year college right out of high school…and then along came miss Glenda. We are only 16 months apart so obviously mom had her hands full at 20, raising two toddlers! As we grew I was much more like my father, NOT QUIET at all, and I was more of a social butterfly than a mindful student. I did okay just so I could cheer, dance, twirl a baton for the band and I had tons of friends. As I remember it, Brenda could do no wrong and I got in trouble for everything! Now while I’m sure that isn’t the case, that is how I remember it. Luckily I have a STRONG personality so I never felt overwhelmed by it, I think I just turned to my friends and my social life to get over it.
I loved back then and I still love today that I can start a conversation with anyone and that I’m social and friendly. It’s one of my greatest strengths. Never a shy bone and I never gave much thought to being shy even though my mom and older sis were/are very much so.
We are all different and we all have strengths and weaknesses that set us apart. I am confident that I am loved equally, even though it took a few years to figure it out. Well, equally among the 3 daughters, everyone knows mom likes Ronn the best!
It’s like your children talking about holidays, you find they have quite a different memory of it from you. Perhaps everything is not how it is, but how it’s remembered.